We are in the midst of an awesome holiday season where there is a constant go go go mentality and a business in the air. Now Christmas festivities have faded slightly and all eyes are on New Years now, but as I'm in NC I can't help but be drawn to conversations had in Detroit and small realizations had about this season...
It was a couple weeks ago when talking to a good friend (we can call him Ronald) about the excitement of the coming holiday that I realized most of the excitement was being expressed by me. I asked Ronald about this, and if he was excited for the holiday. Now Ronald an I have known each other for a year and half now and I have heard muh of his story, but it was in this moment of vulnerability that I found that Ronald had a very powerful reason for this feeling of discomfort and even frustration.
Ronald explained to me that in December symbolizes for him a month of dismal anniversaries. It was in Decmeber that his mother passed, his sister was died and most poignant for him of all, Ronald's son was killed.
Now I recognize that we all have different experiences, whether it's with family, friends or growing up we have different experiences, but it was in this moment where I recognized my own blindness. In my own depiction of the holiday I envisioned it similar for everyone. However, Ronald's feelings about this time of year caught me by surprise for yet another lesson.
So I am not very sure what to do here, but in the moment I felt it to be very important to attempt to empathize with Ronald, to tell him that I cared about him and how much it meant to share this troubling time for him. The conversation continued and eventually ended with Ronald shooting a
rubberband at me because I cut on him. However, even though the conversation ended a while later with some playfulness I am doing what I can continue to allow this lesson to remain in my head.
This brings to mind an important recognition of what the holidays can be for others also. I hope to be more compassionate and open to the possibly differing feelings towards this time of year. I have seen this beautifully done for years at different churches I have attended and not even recognized the power and hospitality that is incorporated in that. The holidays can be beautiful, in the joy and expectation and even in the memories, I just hope to continue to be a part of a community that reminds me to keep that open mind in the midst of our differing experiences.
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